one moment
a chat to some women
I have been asked a number of times to speak to groups of people and relate my story. What follows is an extract of a speech I did for a Women’s Day event: I have a particular story, a narrative which is unique to me and my life. But so do all of you. All of us have...
a chat to some women
I have been asked a number of times to speak to groups of people and relate my story. What follows is an extract of a speech I did for a Women’s Day event: I have a particular story, a narrative which is unique to me and my life. But so do all of you. All of us have...
Latest
kindness and vulnerability in the workplace
I was recently asked to speak at a Women’s Day event for a national planning council about the interface between the workplace, my career and trauma. It draws on pieces I have written before and appear elsewhere on this blog. Here we go: It is such an honour to be...
kindness and vulnerability in the workplace
I was recently asked to speak at a Women’s Day event for a national planning council about the interface between the workplace, my career and trauma. It draws on pieces I have written before and appear elsewhere on this blog. Here we go: It is such an honour to be...
Archive
letters to widows
Aaargh- what a horrible word: widow, but I guess it is more socially acceptable that calling oneself a member of the dead husband (partner/ spouse) club. Since Eric died, there have been a few friends and acquaintances who have become a member of this club that no one...
gratitude after grief
I have conversations in my head with people everyday. I live in my head. I converse and re-enact in my head. That is part of my problem - going around and around and repeating the same script on the same issues in my head. So perhaps I should be having those...
five years on
Today I am missing Eric terribly. It is a day that I expected five years ago to be celebrating with him. Today is the fifth anniversary of my mastectomy and I view it as the “five years clean” day. It is extremely hard to celebrate birthdays and holidays without him....
my daughter and her mom’s breast cancer
On this day five years ago I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Today five years ago I thought I was going to die a horrible death, that I would whither away as my father had done from the brutal disease too many succumb to far too soon. Five years ago I thought I was...
missing my husband
It is not just that I miss Eric’s humor and wit, his thoughtfulness and care, his intellect and mindfulness. But there are also practical issues that serve as daily reminders of his absence. Who will open the jar that defies my efforts, hang up mirrors and paintings...
the smell of jasmine
Saturday past was the first of September. The first day of Spring, the turn of the season, and the preamble to Summer. The days start of get longer and lighter, and there seems to be a lightening of moods as well. But on Saturday I felt heaviness and a despondency...
things could have been a whole lot worse
It has occurred to me that I have dodged the bullet a number of times in my life. There have been times in my life when things could have been a whole lot worse – things could have been really, really fucking bad. There were times I thought things were bad, but later...
when the warm and fuzzy boob turns against you
Everyone has their own way of dealing with their diagnosis and their life thereafter. Here are just a few of the ways I tried to cope: As soon as it was confirmed that the warm and fuzzy feeling on my left boob was cancer I began to read ferociously and avidly. But...
loneliness and grief
I miss my husband every single day. I miss, miss, miss him. Sometimes it is just a passing thought, a memory, a glimpse of our past. Sometimes its something our child says or does, the way she sleeps, a flicker in her face, or hands – precious replicas of his...
tips for when you discover it’s cancer…
Firstly, there may not be a lump.
One Sunday in October 2013 I was lying reading and my left breast suddenly felt uncomfortably warm – like after you have been in the sun for too long. There were no other symptoms and the feeling went away after an hour. I thought that perhaps I should go for an examination, as I had not done so for two years.
About Me
I’m a middle aged (ugh!), extremely privileged mom to one fourteen year old daughter and a rather large, but very slobby brown dog, which I inherited (I’m NOT a dog person – much prefer cats, to which I am terribly allergic). 
kindness and vulnerability in the workplace
I was recently asked to speak at a Women’s Day event for a national planning council about the interface between the workplace, my career and trauma. It draws on pieces I have written before and appear elsewhere on this blog. Here we go: It is such an honour to be...
letters to widows
Aaargh- what a horrible word: widow, but I guess it is more socially acceptable that calling oneself a member of the dead husband (partner/ spouse) club. Since Eric died, there have been a few friends and acquaintances who have become a member of this club that no one...
gratitude after grief
I have conversations in my head with people everyday. I live in my head. I converse and re-enact in my head. That is part of my problem - going around and around and repeating the same script on the same issues in my head. So perhaps I should be having those...
five years on
Today I am missing Eric terribly. It is a day that I expected five years ago to be celebrating with him. Today is the fifth anniversary of my mastectomy and I view it as the “five years clean” day. It is extremely hard to celebrate birthdays and holidays without him....
my daughter and her mom’s breast cancer
On this day five years ago I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Today five years ago I thought I was going to die a horrible death, that I would whither away as my father had done from the brutal disease too many succumb to far too soon. Five years ago I thought I was...
missing my husband
It is not just that I miss Eric’s humor and wit, his thoughtfulness and care, his intellect and mindfulness. But there are also practical issues that serve as daily reminders of his absence. Who will open the jar that defies my efforts, hang up mirrors and paintings...
the smell of jasmine
Saturday past was the first of September. The first day of Spring, the turn of the season, and the preamble to Summer. The days start of get longer and lighter, and there seems to be a lightening of moods as well. But on Saturday I felt heaviness and a despondency...
things could have been a whole lot worse
It has occurred to me that I have dodged the bullet a number of times in my life. There have been times in my life when things could have been a whole lot worse – things could have been really, really fucking bad. There were times I thought things were bad, but later...
when the warm and fuzzy boob turns against you
Everyone has their own way of dealing with their diagnosis and their life thereafter. Here are just a few of the ways I tried to cope: As soon as it was confirmed that the warm and fuzzy feeling on my left boob was cancer I began to read ferociously and avidly. But...
loneliness and grief
I miss my husband every single day. I miss, miss, miss him. Sometimes it is just a passing thought, a memory, a glimpse of our past. Sometimes its something our child says or does, the way she sleeps, a flicker in her face, or hands – precious replicas of his...
About Me
I’m a middle aged (ugh!), extremely privileged mom to one fourteen year old daughter and a rather large, but very slobby brown dog, which I inherited (I’m NOT a dog person – much prefer cats, to which I am terribly allergic).